In a few minutes, I am going to light a candle for the 10 babies I lost. I am very blessed to have the 3 children I have in my life but I will never forget the 10 children that I didn't have. I love them.

At 7pm local time, Compassionate Friends encourages people to light a candle for an hour in honor of the children they have lost. This creates "a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone."

Shortly after Liv was released from the hospital after her birth, she had to be readmitted due to high jaundice. It was a very scary time for us. In the bathroom of Liv's room was a giraffe. I spent a lot of time looking at that giraffe and from then on giraffes have reminded me of my baby girl. We were so overwhelmed we didn't take any pictures of that giraffe.

When I was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia last weekend they put me in the room right next door to Liv's old room. Brian took Liv over to meet him and snapped some pics with his iPhone.

Here they are 2 years ago.

Nanette looks like their mother, not their grandmother :).

Here is a picture of Tor and Kenna hugging after dinner at a diner.

Here they are at the Hard Rock, Sea World and Smallwood almost exactly 2 years ago.

This past Saturday we went upstate to Smallwood to Nanette's cabin on the lake. Put Nanette and Brian together and you'll get lots of laughs. This weekend was no different. We did lots of giggling :).

The kids had a lot of fun with their cousins Kailyn and Kenna too and it was nice seeing Bestemor as well.

My Yiayia was my best friend. I loved her more than anyone. She died when I was 13 but before she died she told me she would always watch over me and always be with me. I miss her so much.

Bestemor (Brian's grandmother) clipped out this Pearls Before Swine comic strip and sent it to me a few weeks ago. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever sent me. I cried when I read it.

We all went up to Nanette's cabin this Saturday and had a really nice visit with Nanette, Bestemor, Kailyn and Kenna (the kids cousins). Bestemor asked me if I liked the Greek fasolatha recipe she had sent too. I did, it was just like my Yiayia and mom made but I LOVED this comic strip.

The first picture is on the deck the day before he lost his tooth. He was going to pull it out but he didn't. He ended up pulling it out himself the next morning before school.

Brian took a pic of Jack right after he lost his tooth and a pic of his tooth on Flickr.

Liv did great beforehand but then it was hot inside the building and the heat tired her out, but she was fine at the playground :).

Here she was last year.

Click here to see a pic from last years party

This year Tor was presented with the Rhyme Lover Award by his teachers. He really does love rhymes.

(Two years ago Jack got the Paper Cutting Lover award and last year he got the Best Bicycle Rider award.)

I love the awards my kids get. Fits them perfectly.

Tor was so excited his first day of school last year. He got to join the 3 & 4 year olds. He was the only 3 year old but he knew almost all the 4 year olds because they were the 3's when Jack was a 4. Tor had already been playing with them on play dates with Jack.

Here Tor is the first day last September.

On the last day of school they did their show. Tor sang the Triangle song. (Jack sang the Square song with his class two years ago.) The kids ended up singing all the shape songs. They were great!

I bought Jack a magic wand in a Rite-Aid in Mississippi right after I found out I was pregnant with Liv. Jack loves the wand. He tells everyone that I snuck it on the plane to bring it home because it has liquid in it and you can't take liquid on a plane. I actually just put it in the suitcase and hoped it didn't explode :). So we have had this wand almost 2 years. The kids fight over it, they play with it, it WAS a great toy.

Today someone left it on the kitchen tiles and Tor didn't see it and stepped on it breaking it in two. Jack was inconsolable. He understood it was an accident but he loved this toy. To try and calm him down I said I would look on the internet for it. I searched Google, Google images, The Find and eBay with all sorts of keywords. I found way more than kids toys with the search term magic wand :).

It took me almost half an hour but I found it. Jack's was the wand with the blue ball on one end and the orange ball on the other. Good enough price that I got one for all three of them. Livi will just grow into hers.

Am I good or am I good? :).

lu⋅na⋅tic

-noun

1. an insane person esp. one who has lucid intervals; a person of unsound mind.
2. a person whose actions and manner are marked by extreme eccentricity or recklessness

-adjective

1. insane; demented; crazy
2. characteristic or suggestive of lunacy; wildly or recklessly foolish.