Labor wasn't quite what I expected it to be. I knew it was going to hurt, but no one told me it was going to hurt so much. I mean it really really hurt. I have had lots of painful things in my life, but nothing was close to this. Man, it f**king hurt.

I was a pediatric nurse and had assisted for 4 deliveries, I took Lamaze classes, I had Brian, I had my music, I was ready. Well, I thought I was ready. I was in so much pain with every contraction that I would tense up instead of relax and breath through it. Even telling myself that billions and billions of women had done this, didn't help.

Poor Brian couldn't win. I had to go to the bathroom and as I was sitting there I had another contraction. Brian was leaning against the door jam with his arms crossed over his chest just watching me. I yelled at him that he was supposed to be helping me with my breathing not just standing there watching me.

So after it finished he helped me to bed. When the next contraction came he started encouraging me to do the breathing exercises and I took his head off and told him to just let me squeeze his hand (take a look at those nail marks) but to otherwise leave me alone :).

Finally the doctor said that if I wanted to have this baby vaginally and not by a c-section, I was going to have to have an epidural. I did NOT want an epidural. Those needles are soooo long and they go right into your spinal cavity. No way, no how. I finally relented however because I didn't want a c-section even more than I didn't want an epidural.

Before I became a nurse, I told anyone who asked, that I was going to have a C-section when I had kids because there was no way something as big as a baby was coming out of THERE. Ha, after taking care of a lot of women after they gave birth, I realized that a c-section was major surgery and took a lot of recovery time. Whereas women who vaginally delivered were up and about almost immediately.

Brian was great, he helped me lean over to get the epidural and shortly after that I felt no pain. I even napped for about an hour and a half. I LOVE epidurals.

About an hour and a half before Jack was born (and about 6 hours after the batteries on my mp3 player died) the epidural wore off. I begged and pleaded for more. The nurses must have been laughing at me because a few hours before I was begging and pleading not to get an epidural, and here I was actually crying for more drugs.

I didn't get more drugs because now it was time to push.