Today is Jo's 61st birthday. In case you don't know, Jo is my biological mother. We found each other just over 8 years ago, and it has been a magical 8 years. I feel very lucky to have such a good relationship with her and with her (my) family.

Being adopted I always wondered where I came from and who my biological mother was. I remember thinking that maybe she was Samantha from "Bewitched" or Jeanie from "I Dream of Jeanie," so I would twitch my nose and I would cross my hands in front of my chest and blink my eyes wishing things to happen. Funny huh?

I love my family but I always felt that a part of me was missing. It's a common feeling among adopted children. I got my non-identifying background information from the adoption agency when I was in my early 20's so I knew her name and had a description of her and her family. For a while that was enough.

About 8 months after we were married, Brian had a private investigator come to the apartment to talk about finding Jo. He guaranteed success for ONLY 8k. At the time we didn't have that kind of money plus I didn't want to disrupt her family so I said no. I was adopted in the late 60's and back then pregnant girls went to homes far away to have babies so their extended family and friends wouldn't know about the baby. I didn't know her situation, but I figured she was probably married with a family of her own and she might not have told them about my existence. I wasn't totally selfless -- I also didn't want to be rejected.

Instead I registered with my adoption agency, with the state of Florida and with the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). The first two cost between $50 and $100 and Soundex was free, but we gave them a similar donation of $50 or so. Registries make matches based on things like date of birth, time of birth, hospital of birth, so if there was a match I would know that Jo was looking for me as well.

Within a week there was a match. Jo had registered with Soundex when I turned 18. Soundex called our apartment and got Brian because he worked from home. They explained there was a match and asked if they could call me at work with the good news. Brian told them I worked with very sick kids in a pediatric intensive care unit and that if they called me I would probably be unable to continue working and that wouldn't be a good thing.

When Brian picked me up from work that night he had a $40 bottle of wine, a domino's pizza and a card. I instantly thought that I forgotten a monthly anniversary (we were still celebrating those back then). I opened the card and he had written Barbara Jo Hailey, Ph.D. in it along with a phone number with an area code I didn't recognize. It took me a few moments to put it all together and realize that he had written my mom's whole name, all I knew was Barbara.

He explained everything to me on the way home and later told me he got an expensive bottle of wine because he knew I would drink it but he didn't think it mattered what I ate, and he was right. He had Jo's picture on his computer screen when I walked in the door. She was a professor and the Associate Chair of the Psychology Department of the University of Southern Mississippi. Wow. I was impressed. Even more "impressive" is she looked just like me. I have her smile. How cool is that?

We called her that night shortly after we got home and I talked to her for over an hour. I took notes because I didn't know if I would ever talk to her again and I wanted to remember everything. It turned out that she already had a vacation planned to New York a little over a month after our call because her husband Joe is an avid Yankee fan, so we made plans to meet each other. On May 18th, 1999 Brian and I met Jo and Joe under the clock at Grand Central.

Like I said, it has been a magical 8 years. I love her, her husband and her family. I also love my family, Brian's family and the family we created. I have been very blessed.

Happy Birthday, Jo!