My mom died this morning

She and my Dad are on a really long cruise and my mom developed some sort of respiratory problems a few days ago and she passed away in the middle of the night our time.

My Dad called my brother from the ship-to-shore line about 3 or 4am (our time) and there was about an 8 second delay so they talked over each other and my Dad was pretty distraught to begin with so it was hard for them to communicate.

The ship docks in Vietnam tomorrow and the process of getting her home will begin.

My Dad doesn't do very well with death or with funerals and this was their 51st wedding anniversary cruise so I can't imagine how this is going for him. So very sad.

The good news is she died on a cruise she has been waiting over a year to go on, she was happy and it wasn't a prolonged illness with hospital stays.

Tor doesn't understand why Mama is crying a lot, but Jack does and he has cried too. He is very sad. Liv will be here in a week and a half so I don't even know what I will be able to do as far as getting down to Florida. <sigh>.


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Thanks everyone. I am sure Mom and I had the same difficulties that all Moms and daughters have...and then some, but she was my Mom and I miss her terribly. I can't believe she is gone.

I can't believe she won't be able to see her only granddaughter, I can't believe that I won't be able to eat any of her excellent food anymore, I can't believe I can't call her to ask her how to make something (like what temp to cook something or what ingredient I am missing). Ugh.

It is all those little things that are hitting me today.

Most of all I can't believe I will miss her funeral because I am so pregnant and can't travel. That's awful. Who misses their own Mom's funeral?

Anyway, thanks for all the kind comments and the emails and the phone calls. They have meant a lot to me.


Posted at 1:55 PM on Mar 13, 2008 by Niki Alvey


Very sorry to hear it, we're thinking about you.

Posted at 9:53 AM on Mar 13, 2008 by Mike


oh niki. i'm so terribly sorry. ohh!! my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted at 11:08 AM on Mar 12, 2008 by sarah gilbert


Please consider yourself hugged right now. I'll give you a real one in June when I see you again. I'll be praying for you and your Dad and brother during this sad time. I'm grateful to have known your Mom even though things have not been easy between you. She was always reasonable when I came to visit...who wouldn't be a little testy when a couple of teenagers stayed up until all hours watching MTV and Conan movies? She was generous with her cooking, too. I was always well fed at your house. During the early days of microwaves, who could forget the miracle of getting a warm hotdog in a bun wrapped in a paper towel? I still find that amusing. Those were great times in the early days of our friendship, so I'm grateful she opened up your family's home to me. I'm glad I had an opportunity to know her.

Posted at 10:03 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by Dorie


Niki, I spoke to Jackie earlier and we are so sorry to hear about your loss. I know this is a really tough time. Please feel free to call anytime if you want to talk. Julia and I (and Freya) will be praying for you.

Posted at 7:15 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by Carl


oh, niki,i'm sighing with you ... hugs & love, dear heart ... xo

Posted at 9:40 AM on Mar 12, 2008 by jude


Oh,Niki, I am so sorry. What a hard thing for your Dad to go through. The one good thing is that Mom was doing something she enjoyed, as you said. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Trust that something will work out for you as far as going to Florida. Take care of yourself and Liv.

Posted at 2:35 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by Pat West


I am so sorry. You are in our thoughts during this difficult time.

Posted at 6:18 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by April


I heard the news from Brian when I called back. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This can't be an easy time for you, especially when you are getting ready to give birth to your first daughter and her first and only grand-daughter. I know things weren't always cherry with between the two of you, but she was still your mother. What a shock for everyone. My sympathy and prayers are with you.

Posted at 4:52 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by carol


I am sending comforting thoughts to you and your family during this time.

Posted at 4:10 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by Allyson McCombs


My dear cousin...Im so thinking about you! My heart hurts for you! Know that your San Diego family is thinking about you, Georgie and Dad! Lov you!

Posted at 9:57 PM on Mar 12, 2008 by Andrea Samarkos


Niki, I just was looking at the pics of your new baby when I noticed this bit on your blog. Linda and I are so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted at 6:05 PM on Apr 1, 2008 by Joseph


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